babynames.com is more than good fun for expecting parents. it is just good fun for all. try out the "rename yourself" feature. My new names, sorted by personality trait metric:
Stylish: Avis Carter Liss
Traditional: Tyler Lisbet Liss
Wild: Ryder Hayley Liss
Creative: Zipporah Takoda Liss
Natural: Peony Livia Liss
Quiet: Kanga Cilie Liss
Friendly: Leola Blanche Liss
Philosophical: Rylie Tranquilla Liss
Ambitious: Astin Blythe Liss
Granted, this random generator is just that. It isn't really based on anything with a personality trait, or your original name. Don't like the new one they give you? Just refresh the page or submit it again.
i graduated today and it was about friggin time. it was totally anitclimactic, and the ceremony was naseously long and artsy-fartsy. but i got my nice, empty diploma envelope. check out janell's flipbook from the ceremony, including a mini-movie of my featured graduate interview, were i look like i am about to throw up and really kinda constipated.
more pictures follow...
continue reading "i done learned REAL good"
"We at Postmodern Pets, Inc. cater to pets and people that appreciate postmodern architecture and furnishings. No longer will you feel compelled to hide the litter box or dog bed in a dimly lit corner of your home.
Most of our pet products are meant to serve as conversation pieces in your home with their wide array of colors, forms, and materials. The purpose of these products might not be obvious at first glance, but on closer inspection you will realize that the products are "useful art" and do not lose any functionality in these unusual forms."
I know that Heifer is a real scholar in postmodernism
IDIOT!
"During the half-hour televised address, Bush mispronounced Abu Ghraib each of the three times he mentioned it while announcing U.S. plans to tear down the infamous jail and replace it with a new facility.
The prison, the scene of torture under Saddam Hussein and the setting for the Iraqi prison abuse scandal under the U.S. military, has a name that English speakers usually pronounce as "abu-grabe".
But the Republican president, long known for verbal and grammatical lapses, stumbled on the first try, calling it "abugah-rayp". The second version came out "abu-garon", the third attempt sounded like "abu-garah". "
Is it totally upsetting that I had to look halway down the google news page to a BULGARIAN newspaper to find this story? I couldn't even find any american papers posting about this atrocity on the first page of results.
so the torture and raping and all that was so obviously important that he spent hours and days and months discussing it with his staff. but he must have just been refering to it as "that prisony place". i think i am going to barf.
from janell: gmail swap
"Want to get a taste of the sweetest lil' net app this side of, uh, google? Add your plea to our Swap List, offer something to swap (maybe just your eternal gratitude), and hope you'll find a kindly patron!"
Some great swap offers:
I will name my goat after you
Author: moonleaf
Date: 05.22.04
I live in the Ozark Mountains and currently have two pet goats, Billy and Baby. A friend of mine has offered to give me one of her baby goats, but I haven't decided if I am taking the male or female yet. If you send me an invitation, I will let you choose either the male or female for me, and I will name it whatever you wish. I will send you pics of the goat as it grows up as well, if you like.
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a monk's prayers for your damned soul
Author: raseron
Date: 05.21.04
Do you have reason to believe your soul is damned to hell? Well here's your shot at a clean slate. And to think that all it'll cost you is a Gmail account. I have a friend who is a monk. He'll pray for anyone, for any reason. And you thought being tech savvy couldn't get you anywhere in spiritual realms? You just don't know the right people. ;)
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a great mullet wig
Author: gregzillmer
Date: 05.21.04
Because not everyone has the good fortune or patience to be able to grow such a fine hairstyle, I offer to you one "brunette" mullet wig. This wig is guaranteed to improve appearance, confidence, and luck with the opposite sex (men or women). And who doesn't want that?
the highly esteemed governor of california on the dating game [view clip]
today is my last day of work at jellyvision. monday i start at fathead.
last night was lenny briscoe's last appearance on non-syndicated Law & Order. it was sad. and i am worried it is kinda going to suck now. his smart ass comments really made the show. the only reason Law & Order:SVU works is because of Munch, who is really just a thinly veiled Briscoe.
i would love to see this country move to being an actual democracy. They could start by say, guaranteeing everyone the right to health. That would be nice. 30% of people in the US without insurance are between the ages of 19 and 29. why? because of ...
a. the shitty economy. they can't find jobs
b. stringent insurance company rules knocking them off their parents insurance, even if they are still in school
c. they can find jobs, and jobs they love, but they are at small businesses that can't afford insurance because it costs the low low price of your firstborn child.
It's obscene. Much smaller democracies offer free national health care, and we are supposed to be pioneers in liberty? In Sweden, birth control is FREE! absolutely FREE! In between the ages of 15 and 19, only 10 out of every 1000 girls becomes pregnant. Knock that number up to 70 per 1000 in the US. The United States has both the highest teenage pregnancy rate and highest teenage abortion rate in the developed world. I have insurance, and it still costs me $15/month for my pills. Go to Planned Parenthood, the only alternative for low-income females without insurance, and you still have to fork over $21/month. Some assinine politicians bitch and moan about abortion and how it is so BLASPHEMOUS, yet what they hell are they doing for me? A whole lotta nothing. Instead of giving me free health benefits, they are smashing the economy and making sure that any form of health insurance stays well out of my reach.
thanks a lot boys. just don't bitch about the teenage pregnancy rate. that's your own doing.
lucky strike rocks because it is an old style bowling alley with an above the ground ball return and manual scoring. the best part about manual scoring is that you are limited to the confining 3 letters at those fancypants modern places. you can see above, as the night went on, our bowling names got more and more insulting, finishing off with taco bell codenames that morphed into further insult. awesome.
batman and robin are roaming the streets of the UK, saving damsels in distress from empty gas tanks. from ananova:
"Michelle Kirby was stranded when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday - until Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to the nearest petrol station.
She said: "They just appeared. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits - I was laughing so much.
"It was like a scene out of Only Fools and Horses and they stayed in character the whole time.
"They said, "I'm Batman, I'm Robin" and I said, "No, you're not" and asked them if they were going to a fancy dress party but they said they were going back to Gotham City."
good. the world needs more real superheros. until we get the american version, you can catch up on batman fight sound effects that make vague references to drug slang.
- Playoffs::Superbowl
- Morris::sey
- Break up:: to make up
- Eggs::Benedict
- Parker::Posey
- Hardy Boys::Boxcar children
- Deluxe::Edition
- Protection::Condom
- Girl Scout::Cookie
- Salsa::Chips
i have this moral quandry. i really want to go to lollapalooza this year, especially for day one where morrisey, modest mouse, sonic youth, and sparta are playing. but then i realize that the last time i saw sonic youth was at lollapalooza 10 years ago. and then i feel really old and lame. am i too old to go to lollapalooza? bean and are still going to buy tickets, but apparently matt has decided he is too old a mature for this.
i think it's bad when you find yourself facing the death of your coolness, and realizing that you are steps away from becoming an "adult". and i'm not ready. and i swear, the next time someone calls me "ma'am", i am going to cry. i am still "miss" thank you.
nestle makes world's largest latte
"The World's Largest Latte measured 7 feet tall and 6 feet wide and weighed 5,000 pounds. The freshly prepared beverage contained 660.5 gallons of rich, foamy latte. The ingredients necessary to create this massive specialty drink included 475 pounds of Vanilla flavored NESTLEŽ COFFEE-MATEŽ LATTE CREATIONS(TM), 45 pounds of NESCAFEŽ TASTER'S CHOICEŽ and nearly 500 gallons of water.
"We are excited to celebrate the launch of new NESTLEŽ COFFEE-MATEŽ LATTE CREATIONS(TM) with the creation of the World's Largest Latte," said Kim Peddle, Marketing Manager for NESTLEŽ COFFEE-MATEŽ. "The event gives commuters a break from the morning rush and an opportunity to sample a rich, delicious latte they can make in the convenience of their own home. Just as the World's Largest Latte added excitement to this morning's commute, new NESTLEŽ COFFEE-MATEŽ LATTE CREATIONS(TM) lets latte lovers instantly stir excitement into their very own coffee cup everyday."
- Vagina:: Monologues
- Racism:: big meanie
- Mother's Day:: bouquet
- Fire alarm:: sprinklers
- Elvis:: pelvis
- Pregnant:: bun in the oven
- Vacation:: Chevy Chase
- Waffles:: Eggo
- Perpendicular:: Tripindicular
- Hospital:: Bed
New $50's on the way. Apparently there was some design conflict and they couldn't pick just one font they liked. They really wanted, like 5. And to have the finished bill dipped in ecto-cooler
$20 bill - $30
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Reply to: anon-30526705@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-05-06, 11:10AM CDT
I have a crisp $20 bill...not the worn out twenty you may get at the local bodega, or a bill pulled out of a lousy ATM. A crisp, clean, new $20 bill. yours for $30. I would consider selling it for $25, and I may be able to sell more than one.
i was so sure i had found a big bad typo in the RedEye yesterday when, in the birthdays section, they had "Kurt Loder, 1945".
being the snarky little snot that i am, i said "AHA! IDIOTS! YOU HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN!"
and then i inserted my foot into my mouth when i found out it was no typo. kurt loder is indeed, 59 years old.
i've posted a slideshow of photos from re:action. go check it out.
kinda. just updated styles. i am relaunching my portfolio and want this site to match it aesthetically. i am still playing around and making decisions, and have only applied the style to the main indexes. so pardon me if the rest of the site looks like poo-poo for a wee bit.
family members to release eliot smith's final album, from the basement on the hill, sometime this fall
fox has cancelled "cracking up", the first run comedy sitcom with molly shannon and jason schwartzman. yes, it needed time to grow. yes, it had shaky baby legs. but for the love of god, this from the network that still runs "cops", "my big fat obnoxious fiance", and "Totally Outrageous Behavior Caught on Tape".
obviously, they feel they made the right choice. with the exception of 24 and The Simpsons, you can wipe FOX off the tube for all I care.
- Sexy::Mexi
- Clique::Snot
- Pledge::Allegiance
- Carbs::Pasta
- Dream Job::Brownie Taster
- Sweeps::Week
- Soundtrack::Danny Elfman
- Hero::Gyro
- Shave::Gillette
- Christina::Ricci