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Name : Lauren Liss D.O.B : 01/28/1980 Lives in : Chicago, IL Makin her bacon at : Fathead Design Zodiac Sign : Aquarius Zodiac Animal : Monkey Favorite number : 3 Favorite food : Artichokes Real Favorite food : Brownies Favorite color : Red Real Favorite color : Pink Favorite animal : otter Favorite game : Mad Libs / Scrabble (tie) Favorite game show : Match Game (prefer PM) Favorite store : Target (tahr-zhay) Favorite body part : Eyebrows Favorite book : Microserfs |
1980 - birth. chicagoland suburbs.
1981 - {HOSPITAL} drink corn remover. birth of my sister. the honeymoon is over.
1982 - {HOSPITAL} blood poisoning in leg from stepping on tile. move in with grandparents. fried egg for breakfast for the next 4 years
1983 - {HOSPITAL} stung by 5 bees on my bum while not wearing underwear. discover wonder of mud pies. push own stroller and self into lake
1984 - {HOSPITAL} concussion running through j.c. penney parking lot in patent leather mary janes. realize other kids are dressed like me on krazy opposite day. the legend begins. bring coconut snoball things to school for every holiday as my special "holiday colored item". bought at drug store on way to school
1985 - {HOSPITAL} sister breaks my arm by pushing me off the slide. dad tells me to shake it off. start grammar school. a year early. at a catholic school. this is setting up to be good.
1986 - {HOSPITAL} drink bottle of cough syrup with sister. pumped stomach. it was totally worth it. miss the day we started talking about nouns. wonder why everyone keeps talking about "person, place, or thing"
1987 - discover roald dahl books and ramona quimby. ah, sweet escape.
1988 - move into new house. still going to catholic school and loathing every minute. first year on swim team. get mvp for age group. taste of rock stardom.
1989 - birth of brother. dad builds large wood playset in backyard. resume sharing room with sister. introduction of bunkbeds.
1990 - {HOSPITAL} break nose falling off of previously mentioned playset. living hell. braces. glasses.
1991 - living hell. braces. bigger glasses. red ones.
1992 - move to north chicago suburbs. public school finally. no uniforms. realize staggering difficulty of looking cool every day. fail to various degrees. first real crushes. 3 of them.
1993 - first real boyfriends. frenchie in grease. first converse. first cigarette. first friends that are boys. this will be a trend.
1994 - high school. fall in love for first time. littlest sister born. swimming varsity, but technically jv. bastards.
1995 - screw the bastards. drop out of swimming. drink. do drugs. be a bad kid.
1996 - no drinking. no drugs. shave head. much better boyfriends. move to california with aunt. sudden acceptance of personal being is overwhelming.
1997 - {HOSPITAL} bad pneumonia. get job at music store. cool card status permanent. start college. at 17. at San Diego State University. dorms. stupid boys. stupider boys. videotaped life. coffee.
1998 - first serious relationship. go to a lot of free shows. insomnia. valium. play a lot of solitaire.
1999 - meet dream boy. music store manager. move in with dream boy. drop out of college. first time living on own. realize ramen is greatest thing ever invented.
2000 - move to chicago. go back to school. crap job that pays a ton. less ramen, more nights out. cat #1 - esme
2001 - school. still hate job. dream boy going to culinary school. life ain't all that bad. cat #2 - heifer
2002 - buy house. really like going to school. finally make friends. feel like less of a loser. quit lame job. get cool job as web designer
2003 - move in with sister. dog #1 - truffle. lay my beast of a car to rest. finally.
2004 - finally graduate from college. after 7 years. get an awesome job that doesn't frown upon my excessive use of the word "butthole".
I will destroy you and your blog and all the blogs of the world. For I am the all knowing. all seeing, all surfing destructor of uppity, young Chicagoan computer nerds and you will succumb to my powers. Until we meet (or until I get home after work).
Hey Lauren,
I work with your sister, and I have to deal with her shit everyday. She sits right behind me actually. I just thought I would write you and let you know that we are all looking at your website today. It is pretty cool and I especially like the year by year timeline of your life. I am realizing that I really do not know why I am writing this, but hey thought I would say something. Take care of you little sis ok? She is a pretty cool girl!
mental note. this chick uses words well. must emulate.
-bubu
(some rights reserved)
Wow. People still do webcams, huh?
I want you. I don't know why or for yet but I want you. Maybe its just a chemical reaction that connects me somehow to your aura. Perhaps we can eat artichokes together in the sunset of our years.
Do you want me, too?
Lauren,
What are your thoughts on toast?
Your #1 loving, faithful, and loyal fan...
Chris
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